


The Last Night

by estriel



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-PyeongChang 2018 Winter Olympics, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 06:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18911503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estriel/pseuds/estriel
Summary: Yuzu had thought that he didn't know what being in love felt like, thought it was something that he just didn't have time for, that he had no mental space to spare for something as flimsy and insubstantial as love.Oh how wrong he had been.





	The Last Night

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flyuzuru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyuzuru/gifts).



> Soundtrack: [Rob Houchen - Creep (live)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmSJcRY8Rb0)  
> (Listen while you read, it makes the fic better in my opinion.)
> 
> Inspiration:  
>  _yakap_  
>  noun (Filipino), as defined by my friend @flyuzuru - _To hold someone in your arms and embrace them fully, like saying 'I take you - your fears, your hopes, your dreams, everything that makes you YOU - in my arms and I accept all of them'.  The slow enveloping of arms around each other, the perfection as you mold your bodies together, all pieces fitting together like a puzzle, the slow buildup to a comfortable tightness with the only goal of making the other person feel safe._

 

It is a little strange, Yuzu thinks, that this is probably the last time he will be walking the familiar route to Javi's apartment. He takes the stairs instead of the elevator, careful not to spill from the two tall cups of hot chocolate he's carrying. Everyone knows Javi likes his coffee. Yuzu knows that in the evenings, Javi prefers hot chocolate, especially on cold nights like this one, especially when he is dealing with something difficult. Yuzu thinks Javi may appreciate his hot chocolate, on his very last night in Toronto.

He presses his shoulder into the doorbell when he arrives at Javi's door, still holding onto both cups, and waits. When Javi opens the door a moment later, he looks surprised.

"Yuzu? How?"

Yuzu smiles. "I brought hot chocolate," he tells Javi and hands him the cups. Javi looks down at the drinks, then back at his face, still more taken aback than Yuzu would expect. It's not like this is the first time they're doing this.

Just as he's stepping into Javi's apartment, Yuzu feels his phone beep inside his pocket. He takes it out to check the screen.

'Want to come over?' reads the message from Javi, apparently sent just a moment before Yuzu rang the bell.

"I read Javi's mind," Yuzu chuckles as he toes off his sneakers and hangs up his winter coat, hat, and scarf on the hook by the door.

"Yes," Javi laughs softly. "You did."

Javi leads him to his living room. It's dim, only one lamp left on, but Yuzu can still see the difference immediately. The room looks so empty without the random items of Javi's everyday life scattered all around - the Playstation controls are nowhere to be seen, the pictures of Javi's family are missing from the shelf next to the TV, there isn't even the ever-present hoodie or two slung over one of the armchairs. Even the lines of the furniture look harsher, somehow.

"It's weird, isn't it," says Javi, clearly following his gaze.

It looks wrong, Yuzu thinks. "Yeah," he agrees. He suddenly feels heavy and settles down onto Javi's couch. _Just a couch, not Javi's_ , he reminds himself, because Javi's rental contract ends tomorrow.

He tucks his feet under himself. There are a couple of candles flickering on the coffee table.

"I didn't know you had candles," he says with a frown.

"I didn't, either," says Javi and sits down next to him. He hands Yuzu his cup. "They were at the back of the kitchen cabinet. I only found them because I had to clean it all out today. Probably from the previous tenant." He shrugs. "Might as well use them."

Yuzu nods and sips his drink, staring at the dancing flames in front of him. The chocolate is delicious, with just a touch of cinnamon, the way he likes it best. Javi's doesn't have cinnamon, of course. Javi prefers caramel.

"How come that you came back to Toronto?" Javi asks suddenly.

Yuzu doesn't know how to answer that. It makes little sense for him to be here, right now, immediately after the Olympics. It's not like he's going straight back to training, his ankle needs to heal first, and Yuzu thinks he deserves a short break. He knew, of course, that Javi was returning to Canada to pack up, move out, take Effie to Spain. But Yuzu has no real reason to be here. He just felt like he needed to come back. See Javi off.

"Physical therapy," he mumbles. It's not strictly a lie, but he could have gotten all the treatment he needs in Japan as well.

Javi nods and takes a gulp of his chocolate. He sighs and Yuzu watches him as his eyes travel over the empty surfaces, the last few boxes in the corner.

Effie chooses that moment to come out of her hiding spot under the couch. She lifts her head curiously and sniffs at Yuzu's socked toes before she hops onto the couch beside him.

"Effie, helloooo," Yuzu coos and sets down his cup on the coffee table so he can scratch behind her ears. She purrs appreciatively and presses her cold nose further into his palm. "I will miss you," he tells her. "I love you a lot."

Effie gives a short meow, then jumps off the couch, slinking herself between Javi's legs.

"Will you miss me?"

Javi's voice is quiet, barely a whisper. Yuzu thinks that maybe the question should have been a joke, but as he looks at Javi, he realizes that it is an earnest one. Javi is biting his lip, looking at him through his eyelashes. Yuzu realizes that his eyes are shining a bit too much.

Yuzu blinks, suddenly confused, unsure of what to do. It's like walking on thin ice and Yuzu has never felt that way around Javi. Javi has always been a harbor – an embrace to fall into, a shoulder to cry on. Now it is Javi who looks on the verge of tears, all vulnerable. The best thing Yuzu can think of is to open his arms, the way Javi has always done for him whenever Yuzu needed him, and let Javi lean forward until his forehead is resting safely in the crook of Yuzu's neck.

"I will miss you," he says slowly, carefully, the words new and uncertain on his tongue, but no less true for it. "More than Effie. More than anyone."

Javi's deep exhale is like a warm caress against his skin.

They have hugged before, countless times. Yuzu remembers the hugs - not all of them, but many. Some were bittersweet, with one of them triumphant on the top of a podium while the other was looking up, the wrong-color medal around the neck. Some were pure unadulterated joy in the finale of a show, both of them high on endorphins and on doing what they love most, side by side. Some were more subdued, just an arm up and a quick clap on the back in the middle of a practice session, helping each other up from falls that left them both bruised and aching.

They have never hugged quite like this, though. Javi is warm inside the circle of his arms and so familiar, but there is a fragility there, an openness that Yuzu has never witnessed before. It's as if they had been holding back, all these years, all these other hugs they had shared. Now Javi is crying on his shoulder, his tears hot on Yuzu's neck and his fingers curled into the fabric of Yuzu's t-shirt at his back, and Yuzu feels like he is holding something infinitely precious in his arms: Javi's very heart and soul. He wants to keep them safe, take it all in until Javi has no more tears, no more fears or doubts or demons that haunt him. He wants to hold him until Javi is… happy. That's it, Yuzu just wants to make Javi _happy_.

It's a startling realization, and as Yuzu probes further, things start snapping together like pieces of a puzzle.

The way his eyes always followed Javi during hundreds of practice sessions - Yuzu had thought it was to learn, at first, then to keep an eye on the competition.

The way his stomach fluttered every time they touched or embraced. He had thought it was the nerves of a competition, the excitement of a medal, the happiness of a show well done.

The way he knew, in PyeongChang, that he had to come back to Toronto when everything was done, even though there was no practical reason for it.

The way he knows how Javi likes his hot chocolate and just when he will want it.

Yuzu had thought that he didn't know what being in love felt like, thought it was something that he just didn't have time for, that he had no mental space to spare for something as flimsy and insubstantial as love. Now he realizes that the reason why he never seemed to dwell on it is because he has been in love all this time, so long that it has become second nature, the feeling as familiar, steady and effortless as jumping triple axels is to him.

He never stopped to consider it properly – love – because he has been loving Javi for years now.

Now he does, though. He examines every tremulous beat of his heart, and as he does so, Yuzu wonders if he has missed his chance. The fear that springs into life in the pit of his stomach is unbearable.

"Is it too late, Javi?" he whispers.

Javi lifts his face to look at him. His eyelashes stick together in wet bunches and his eyes are red. He is too close, their noses almost touching, and as Yuzu meets his gaze, he cannot understand how he had not _known_ until now.

"Too late for what?" Javi asks.

"For this," Yuzu says, emboldened by the fact that this is the last night, the last chance, and he has nothing to lose. He cups Javi's face in his hands, Javi's stubble scratchy against his palms, and leans forward to kiss the tender skin of Javi's cheeks right under his eyes, tasting salt. When Javi doesn't jerk away, Yuzu kisses the bridge of his nose, then each eyebrow in turn, the middle of Javi's forehead.

"For this," he repeats, and brushes his lips against Javi's, like he should have done ages ago.

He's not sure at which point his eyes had fallen shut, but he feels rather than sees Javi tilt his head to fit their mouths together, like two parts of a whole finally clicking into place.

"It's never too late for the best things,"Javi murmurs when they come apart. "Never too late for _you_."

And as he entwines his fingers with Javi's, curled up against him on the couch in a place they'll soon be leaving behind, Yuzu realizes that maybe this is not just an end. It is also a beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my favorites of everything I've written for the Yuzuvier ship so far... and I almost forgot I had it. I wrote this a while ago, and I'm not even sure why I like it so much, since it's just a short bit of fluff, but I do. 
> 
> I always love your comments, so let me know what you think if you feel so inclined. <3


End file.
